You sometimes hear people state that they want to get divorced — or that they wanted to in the past — but they felt like there was this obligation to stay together for the kids. In short, they thought staying together would be better for the children, so they decided to do so even though it went against their own wishes.
You may view this as a noble sacrifice, but it’s important to take a moment to ask if that view is even based in reality or if it’s just another myth. Is it always better to stay together for the kids?
An unhappy home life could be more detrimental
What you really need to consider is the status of your home life and the atmosphere in which the children have to live. If it’s a negative atmosphere, it can actually be worse for the children.
After all, having two parents who constantly argue and cannot get along is stressful for the children. They feel that stress, even if they are not the subject of these arguments. If you and your spouse can coexist peacefully, they may not mind, but an unhappy marriage is often far from peaceful.
You also have to consider how much time you and your spouse spend dealing with these personal issues that you have. Is it so much that the children are in danger of neglect? Does your spouse get so frustrated with the issues that you worry about abuse? Putting your children in this type of living situation is dangerous and they would clearly be better off if you and your spouse were divorced.
What really matters to children is having a stable life with two parents. Traditionally, that means the parents are married, but it doesn’t have to. Unmarried or divorced parents who can reduce stress and focus on their kids will give those kids a better, safer upbringing than two parents who only stay together because they feel obligated, allowing their own issues to get worse.
Are you considering divorce?
If you think that divorce would be best for you and your family, you must know all of the legal steps you need to take along the way.